Today's Rant..

Alfonso Soriano is a man among boys. Friday night, as i sat in the rain at RFK, hoping the Braves-Nats game would start, i was pondering why was i there. Then, Soriano made my trip to DC worth it, as he hit 3 HR in the game as the Nats beat the Braves 7-3.

Here is this week's Horoscopes: Courtesy of The Onion.

Your Birthday Today
You'll make the disastrous mistake at work today of opening over 70 gift-wrapped boxes, effectively ruining your charity organization's monthly toy drive for children with leukemia.
Aries March 21 - April 19
You will once again resort to drinking your problems away, abusing tap water in an attempt to forget your dehydration issues.
Taurus April 20 - May 20
Your belief in holding doors open for women, pulling their chairs out for them, and offering to pay for dinner all make you an old-fashioned type of guy. As does your belief that women shouldn't have the right to vote.
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Most experts agree that language is what separates humans from other animals, but as you well know it is in fact our ability to choose bestiality.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
While being a homemaker is a full-time job, you will somehow still find the time to take on a second job as an emotional punching bag.
Leo July 23 - August 22
Hands-free cell phones may not be any safer or less distracting than regular cell phones, but they will be your only option after next week's car accident.
Virgo August 23 - September 22
Many will be moved and inspired when you decide to court a terminally ill woman in the last months of her life, but that's just the kind of necrophiliac you are.
Libra September 23 - October 23
Construction on the new high-rise building you're working on will devolve into lewd and inappropriate whistling as an attractive woman rapidly falls by.
Scorpio October 24 - November 21
Your years as an enthusiastic spectator will finally be properly appreciated when a touring musician asks you and the rest of the crowd to give yourselves a hand for being such a fantastic audience.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Family members may accuse you of being selfish and self-centered, but the truth is you'd do anything mutually beneficial for them.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You will be rightfully excited when your city's bid to host the 2011 Special Olympics makes it to the final round, even though you have a feeling that in the end the games will end up going to Mongolia.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Your 10-hour shift would go by a lot faster if you didn't keep looking up at the clock every five minutes, but as head surgeon, it's your responsibility to record the time of death of patients.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
Doctors will agree to separate your newborn conjoined twins, but adamantly object to your request to put over 5,000 miles between them.

As I look for honeymoon destinations for next year, this one just fell into my lap.

Dinosaur Kingdom: A Roadside attraction that incorporates two classic tourist-trap themes-dinosaurs and the Civil War- in a uniquely Virginian Way-by having the Dinosaurs attack the Union soldiers. I can't believe no has done this before just as i can't believe that no one has created a show: Monkeys v. Midgets. Maybe i need to do that.

Anyway, at the Kingdom's entrance, as sign explains the premise: It's 1863 and Union Soldiers have discovered a hidden valley filled with Dinosaurs. Of course, "Billy Yank" plans to use the dinosaurs as WMD's [Weapons of Mass Destruction] against the South. The piece that really sets it off is a life-size Yank calvaryman on horseback trying to lasso a T-Rex that has a Yank in its jaws.

This may be the greatest place on Earth. For more on this story go to: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/04/23/AR2006042301192.html

A clarification to Friday's rant about Bush's approval rating. Actually, Harry Truman had an approval rating of 23% and he's considered one of the greatest presidents of all time.

Have a nice day.